Instead of being drained by these feelings of guilt, it is better to focus positively on developing a happy balance of quality time spent together and helping a child get the most from the time they are acting independently.
It is worth thinking about independent play in terms of the child’s lived experience. It is natural for a child’s personal play to flow out of the shared everyday family experiences. It is also important to remember that supporting a child towards becoming an active learner who can concentrate and think for themselves is a very constructive way to empower them and feeds into their self-confidence and feelings of assured self-esteem. It is also good for our well-being to feel comfortable in our own skin and at peace in our own company.
The early years of a child’s life are remarkable in their rapid development and the strength of relationships they develop with adults that are important to them. Although all families will experience times of difficulty, this should be a period of family life that should be cherished and bring joy to both the children and the adults. Despite the pressures, we can choose to adopt a positive mindset and seek to find a balance of time together and time alone, seeing the benefits of both.
So, to conclude, developing a child’s ability to concentrate and operate independently is not about giving them more and more things to do alone. It involves a combination of using time spent together, identifying interests, providing resources, and encouraging the skills of independence. Noticing what they do and showing an interest, which includes questioning and challenging as well as praise, will build their confidence and inspire them on their journey towards being self-reliant, successful learners.